Pickles (3/30/09)

If the white-haired man in this strip is using his brown paper bag to carry donuts, then what is he using to clean up his dog’s…business? Unless he has another bag hidden in his jacket pocket, I think it’s safe to assume that he’s not bothering to clean up anything. Unfortunately, that would put him in the company of thousands of dog owners who encourage their furry friends to poop on the public way while giving nary a thought to picking up the mess. I should know because at this very moment there is a cluster of chihuahua turds hardening near the driver’s side door of my car. I can only hope to stay mindful of them the next time I drive to the grocery store.

Marmaduke (3/29/09)

Today’s Marmaduke provides a snapshot of the weather in Chicago this weekend. Saturday was cold and rainy, which would have been miserable enough for spring even if we hadn’t been treated to hours of wet, heavy snow later in the evening. Temperatures rose throughout the day on Sunday, causing the snow to melt quickly and flood the streets with slush. It could have been worse. I could have been stuck in Fargo, North Dakota where melting snow has caused massive flooding and evacuations. But even though we just got a dusting, it was still enough to put a damper on the weekend. If I had a tail, I’d have dragged it through the snow just like Marmaduke.

Monty (3/28/09)

This week’s Monty strips have seen the bespectacled title character dress up as Abraham Lincoln, travel back in time to foil the assassination at Ford’s Theatre, and inadvertently cause the death of the great emancipator by feeding him great quantities of gummy bears. Now we have Rod Serling and Ron Howard appearing as visions, one to wax poetic about the paradoxes of time travel and the other to lobby for the purchase of Frost/Nixon on DVD. Serling makes some interesting points, but I just can’t get on board with what Howard is selling. For my money, Frost/Nixon plays like a dated, low stakes drama about the office of the president; a well-acted yawner that pales in comparison to the entertaining endorsement of Barack Obama that Howard posted shortly before the 2008 election.

Real Life Adventures (3/27/09)

This strip made me laugh out loud, primarily because the woman’s observation that bad ideas “have nowhere else to go” aside from her husband’s brain felt like a perfect phrased response. I’m intrigued by the notion of ideas (both good and bad) wandering around aimlessly until they find a receptive audience. A brilliant novel, for example, might land in the head of an exceptionally talented and hardworking writer. On the other hand, a “nose diaper” might take refuge in the brain of someone willing to tape cloth to their face in order to avoid the arduous work of sniffling.

Hagar the Horrible (3/26/09)

Even though violence is common in the world of comic strips (think Sarge stomping on Beetle Bailey or Lucy roughhousing with Linus) it’s usually depicted in an exaggerated, over-the-top manner. That’s why it’s so unsettling to see Hagar the Horrible not only bleeding, but suffering from such serious wounds that his blood drips from his body and forms puddles on the floor. Judging by his heavy eyelids in the second panel, it looks as if the poor man is about to lose consciousness. I’m not sure anyone would find this punchline funny, but it does illustrate the unglamorous nature of battlefield injuries in terms not usually seen on the comics page.

Get Fuzzy (3/25/09)

Any college student can tell you that breakfast is the most important meal of the day, which explains why so many young people help themselves to a second serving by cramming into 24-hour diners at 3:00 in the morning. If it’s okay to eat breakfast at the end of a long night, then it should be perfectly acceptable to start your day with a full dinner. After all, steak and eggs used to be a popular breakfast item and reheated pizza can act as a morning meal if you’re not in the mood for oatmeal. None of this sounds appetizing to me now, but it sure appealed to me at nineteen.

One Big Happy (3/24/09)

I can’t pass judgment on the scrapbook addicted woman in One Big Happy, especially since I’ve been collecting comic strips for years. In fact, I have binders dating back to June 2005, which is two-and-a-half years before I started this website. That said, I wouldn’t care to look through three photo albums of pictures from a single birthday party, and would definitely steer clear of the six pages dedicated to cake. I imagine there would be additional pages dedicated to ribbon, wrapping paper and incidents in which the photographer’s thumb obscured the subject. Thanks, but no thanks.