Dilbert (11/11/09)

I’m not much for generational warfare, so it seems to me that a lot of the negativity directed at baby boomers is misplaced. And I say this even after sitting through endless prescription drug commercials showing people in their fifties and sixties cavorting around beaches and pretending to be twenty-one, as if there is some kind of horrible shame in aging. Boomers represent the biggest single slice of the U.S. population, but they do not exercise absolute authority and therefore can’t be held responsible for every societal ill. Has the baby boom generation made mistakes? Sure they have, but no more so than the generations that authorized Jim Crow or tore up treaties with Native American tribes. Every era has its successes and failures and even though boomers have screwed up royally at times, they have also notched some major accomplishments.

Dilbert (9/30/09)

For what it’s worth, I’m pretty sure sand is a good deal less expensive than kitty litter, the point being that if this woman wanted to create a faux beach in her apartment she could have purchased a large sandbag at a hardware store and then used the leftover money to spring for, I don’t know, a magazine? But then there wouldn’t be a punchline to this strip and we wouldn’t be treated to the charming image of a cat standing on its hind legs with a newspaper tucked under its arm.

Dilbert (9/24/09)

I’ve always considered myself an optimist, but one with a realistic view of the world. Looking on the bright side can be incredibly liberating, but not when it involves willfully ignoring something just because its unpleasant. When one door closes, another opens? Well, that may be true in some cases, but oftentimes when a door closes it leaves someone standing alone, a little freaked out at the startling turn of events. And that’s okay. Recognizing the severity of a problem is the first step in solving it. It’s the difference between calling the insurance company when your house burns down and buying a tent from Wal-Mart so you can hike out to the woods to roast marshmallows.

Dilbert (8/28/09)

Today’s Dilbert left me scratching my head in amazement at the fact that anyone, anywhere could find fault with a cell phone app that hurls pirate insults. Sure, it might get old after the hundredth time or so, but the woman in this strip is seeing this app for the very first time. How can she not grasp is juvenile charm? How can she not sit there pressing the “automatic pirate insult generator” button ad nauseum? Dilbert is right to taunt her with the app after she’s left the table. Anyone not charmed by a surly pirate on a cell phone is not someone you want to share a meal with.

Dilbert (8/22/09)

This strip reminds me of a gag I saw on the TV show Ed, which never got its due despite some quality acting and storytelling. It went like this: guest star Danny DeVito sent letters to eight people predicting the outcome of a baseball game. Half the letters predicted the Red Sox would win while the other half predicted the Yankees would win. The next day he sent another split set of predictions, but only to the people who received accurate predictions from the previous day’s game. He repeated this one more time until a single person received three correct, anonymous predictions in the mail and was willing to fork over a large amount of money for gambling advice. Sounds an awful lot like the mutual fund scam being suggested, with a gleeful wag of the tail no less, in today’s Dilbert.

Dilbert (8/4/09)

I have a rule when it comes to pushy salespeople. Before I’ll listen to their pitch, I’ll ask them to give me three good reasons why I should not buy their product (or, conversely, three good reasons why I should consider patronizing their competitor). If the salesperson is unwilling or unable to provide those reasons, I take it as a sign that they don’t respect me as a thinking person. On the other hand, if the salesperson is willing to offer contrary evidence it goes a long way toward winning my respect and admiration.

Dilbert (5/18/09)

I hate to be a stickler, but by uttering the phrase, “our products are junk and we’re completely out of capital,” Dilbert is already showing himself to be proficient in jargon. Despite increased interest in the financial industry, the word “capital” remains nothing but a euphemism for cash; even the word “products” is generic enough to obscure the true nature of a business (see AIG and its ever-vague “financial products” division). If Dilbert worked for General Motors, he might get to the heart of the matter by saying, “our cars are junk and we’re completely out of cash.” Instead, he’s chosen words make him sound smart and in control rather than floundering and desperate.