Everyone has their own definition of luxury. Mine is never having to do yardwork again. When I retire, I want to sit in my air conditioned house during the summer while a crew mows, seeds, and waters my lawn. Of course, when I retire I’ll have all the time in the world to mow, seed, and water my lawn, so it probably won’t seem like much of a chore. And what’s the use of buying gadgets (like the electric edger I have my eye on) if I don’t get to use them? Come to think of it, I won’t want anyone touching my yard when I’m old. Now, dusting my house…that’s another story.
Archive for the ‘Diamond Lil’ Category
As a Chicagoan, do I have any excuse for having never built a legitimate snowman? I’ve made snowballs, snow angels, and even a rudimentary fort, but never a snowman. Earlier this month, when old man winter dumped 20 inches of powder on Chicago, I neglected to build a snowman. Shame on me. Who knows, maybe March will bring another big snowfall, and with it another chance to make good. The “snowhawk” in this strip is excellent, but it needs a few more elements to really bring it to life. Hmm…a leather jacket here, a Mr. T-inspired necklace there, and…perfect.
Shirts are okay. Socks are acceptable. Pants are very nice. But sweaters? Sweaters are the best. When it comes to Christmas gifts, there’s nothing I like more than a warm, reasonable fashionable, sweater. Although the rest of my wardrobe might suffer from neglect, I can rest assured that my supply of sweaters will be refreshed every December 25th. It’s a tradition that started a few years ago when my mother-in-law bought me a particularly sharp sweater. I must have expressed a great deal of appreciation, because now I get a new sweater every year. (This year’s version featured a red checkerboard pattern.) Sweatshirts are okay. Hoodies are passable. Jackets are permissible. But sweaters? Sweaters are fantastic.
Two things. First of all, I understand the ease with which someone can overcook their food. Two days ago, I slipped a rather uncomplicated dinner into the oven and walked away to attend to other business. A half-hour later, the breaded chicken breasts were completely dried out and the thinly sliced potatoes were burnt to a crisp. I even managed to ruin a perfectly good cookie sheet by using a metal spatula to scrape off the potatoes. Secondly, that is one scary-looking dude in today’s Diamond Lil. The bald head, burly build, and sharp knife are enough to make me uneasy, but what really makes me squirm is the fact that this man has no pupils whatsoever.
Poodles are fun. They’re small yet poofy, full of attitude yet meticulously manicured. Above all, these funny looking dogs are great fodder for the comics page. And while I’ve seen hundreds of poodle gags over the years, I’ve never seen one of these dogs drawn in the style of the flying canine from today’s Diamond Lil. The airborne pooch in this strip reminds me of a popcorn string. Either that or a firecracker exploding in mid-air, it’s smoke puffs pulled in multiple directions by strong gusts of wind.