The girl in this strip has all the typical attributes of a mean kid: a bossy attitude, black hair (think Lucy from Peanuts), and an affinity for grape jelly. Although I’m a fan of jam – my favorites include strawberry, apricot, and boysenberry – I simply can’t stomach the grape stuff. It’s bland at best, bitter and chalky at worst. If I were forced to choose my least favorite jams, I would rank it below mint jelly…and maybe even below marmalade. So how’s a person to placate a child who claims to love this vile foodstuff? Maybe the berated bookworm in this strip should read the real Grapes of Wrath to her. Who knows, it might inspire feeling of empathy, which might cause her to tone down some of her grape-flavored abrasiveness.
Archive for the ‘Luann’ Category
If you ask me, the text-happy teenager in this strip manages to be rude not once, but twice. Her obvious faux pas is that she interrupts a conversation in order to read a text message. Her less obvious, but equally rude, misstep is that she doesn’t bother to respond to said text message. This young woman obviously got a kick out of the text, so why not send a smiley face in return? By tucking her phone back into her pocket, she leaves the person who sent the text wondering how it was received, and that’s just rude.
If I’m reading this strip correctly, it takes Luann two-and-a-half hours to do the following: blow-dry her hair; comb and style her hair; cut holes in her jeans; put on her socks; tear apart some of the stitching on her T-shirt; crumple a flannel shirt into a ball; and, finally, tie said flannel shirt around her waist. This sequence is highly improbable, which makes me wonder what’s going on between the panels. Compulsive Facebook updates? Exhaustive text messaging? Periodic peeks at fashion magazines? Intermittent dozing off due to narcolepsy? The world may never know.
There may be a joke in here somewhere, but I can’t help seeing this strip as some type of public service announcement advocating for the strict interpretation of copyright laws. What to make of this volley aimed squarely America’s cover bands? Not to mention the implications for sampling in hip-hop? If the people behind today’s Luann had their way, the listening public would have never heard Bob Dylan’s version of Blowin’ in the Wind or Prince’s version of One of Us, not to mention the Beastie Boys’ Paul’s Boutique and Danger Mouse’s The Grey Album. Think how much poorer we would be without those classics. Then again, it might be worth trashing all of them as a way to avoid hearing Luann sing Lady Gaga.
The day after our wedding, my fiance and I are flying to Italy for our honeymoon. It will be her first time traveling outside the United States and my first time traveling outside North America. I’m really looking forward to it, but at the same time I’m not sure my understanding of Italian culture is any more sophisticated than the understanding of Australian culture shown in this strip. I plan to get off the plane in Rome armed with an Italian language mobile phone app, an expectation that I’ll be drinking terrific wine, some superficial knowledge of the Catholic church, and a vague recollection of classic Michelangelo Antonioni films. Hopefully it will be enough.
For a lot of people, West Side Story was part of their high school experience. This was true for me, but not as a performer. I videotaped my school’s production of the only musical contemporary audiences can stand, and got a kick out of the ambitious staging. We used a multilevel set, a chain-link fence, and decent fight scenes to augment the angst-filled story of star-crossed love. Today’s Luann reminds me of that production, and while I’m sure the strip’s “theatrical romance mirrors real-life romance” storyline will be tiresome and predictable, I’m holding out hope that it will include finger-snapping teens singing about Jets and Sharks.
I formally proposed to my fiance on Saturday, taking her to the John Hancock Observatory for an afternoon trip. Ostensibly, we were scouting locations for the wedding ceremony we’d agreed to before I’d a chance to buy an engagement ring. But I had also stashed said ring in my pocket, thinking, “What better way to propose than by getting down on bended knee, 94 floors above the picturesque lakefront?” Naturally, my fiance was surprised and delighted. That’s why I look at today’s Luann, in which a high school student nonchalantly tells of a shocking proposal by a teenage millionaire, with complete befuddlement. The mom in this strip has the right reaction. The daughter has obviously been drugged.