Daddy’s Home (10/3/09)

Ah, bureaucracy. The father in this strip makes a serious mistake by applying logic to a school form. A reasonable person might assume that an allergic reaction could be avoided by not exposing someone to what they’re allergic to, but this form is not going to be read by a reasonable person. It’s going to be routed through a system filled with well-meaning folks who are powerless to make decisions. The form will then be placed in a drawer, possibly to be used as a buffer against future litigation. Given this context, it wouldn’t be a bad idea for the father to fill out his paperwork, remind his son to stay away from peanuts and turn in for the night.

Daddy’s Home (9/17/09)

No wonder the man in this strip is hunched over on the couch; he’s not even free to use the master bathroom in his own house. Assuming that he shares a bedroom with his wife, it boggles the mind to think that he wouldn’t also share a bathroom with her. Maybe I’m missing something, since I’ve always lived in houses with a paucity of bathrooms, but it seems strange to me that each person would have their own individually assigned commode.

Daddy’s Home (8/31/09)

I’ve had my share of meatloaf dinners and while some of them have been good, none of them have had a particularly appetizing aroma. At best, meatloaf has a neutral smell dominated by ground beef and ketchup. Even the most adventurous variations (and I’ve had some rich, flavorful ones with ample seasonings and bacon on top) don’t make my nose perk up. I doubt this would change if someone were cursed with an enormous schnoz. But I do pity the poor woman with the gigantic ears who has to hear the amplified crunch of Corn Flakes as they’re used to fill out the baking pan.

Daddy’s Home (4/29/09)

While it’s true that newspapers earn revenue from individual sales, it’s a stretch to suggest that their business model relies solely on subscribers. In fact, a large chunk of their revenue comes from display ads and classified ads, and the decline in both (thanks to the recession and Craigslist, respectively) is what has brought many newspapers to the brink of bankruptcy. On the other hand, newspapers that extract high enough rates from their advertisers sometimes choose to give their product away for free. Chicago has several such rags, including the thriving Red Eye (a wafer-thin collection of wire stories and entertainment news aimed at commuters) and the struggling Reader (a once-proud alternative weekly that still manages to publish interesting political stories and movie reviews from time to time).

Daddy’s Home (4/12/09)

It’s interesting to think of filing one’s income taxes as an personal transaction with the President of the United States. The scenario is far-fetched in that it suggests one person would travel the country every April 15 to collect checks from each and every taxpayer, sort of like Santa Claus in reverse. But it’s true that most people have some idea of what their taxes are going to support, be it a particular president’s agenda or a vague notion of the federal government in Washington, DC. The man in this strip is obviously signing his check with Barack Obama in mind…either that or he’s thinking of a sharply dressed Easter Island statue.

Daddy’s Home (4/4/09)

I’m not sure what the diameter of a standard issue watermelon is, but I’m positive it’s smaller than the diameter of a standard issue toilet bowl. Consider this: if you pull a toilet seat up and then sit down, you’re likely to fall in and end up with a soggy bottom. Now compare the average watermelon to the average American posterior and you’ll see how unlikely it is that these farmers market favorites would become lodged in a lavatory. Not that watermelons can’t grow to be enormous, but one that’s big enough to fit snugly into porcelain would be a rare commodity indeed and would likely fetch more than $2.50 at the local grocery store.

Daddy’s Home (2/24/09)

I remember Jerry Seinfeld saying something along the lines of, “If you don’t keep pushing the envelope then you’ll never know how far is too far.” Here to show us the exact location of “too far” is Daddy’s Home (a comic that isn’t known for pushing boundaries). It’s depiction of a young boy joyously flashing his parents teeters dangerously close to the edge. What puts it over the top is the fact that he doesn’t even ask for beads in return.